Haitham al-Haddad – A man’s right to sexual relations during divorce/Involving the police in domestic violence matters

Posted on March 4, 2014

03:00 “Please sisters, listen to this. Sometimes a sister doesn’t want to live with her husband, for any reason. So, we say you have to apply for a divorce. You have to apply for a, you call it a divorce but the correct Islamic ruling for it is marriage dissolution and in a short while we will explain the whole procedure. So until you apply, until you are granted that, you are legally his wife and if he wants to sleep with you, unless there is a very fundamental or there is a huge problem, which I cannot mention now, you have to give him his right.”

03:19 “If, for example, the husband, many sisters they say my husband is evil, he is stubborn, he is so rigid, he is so violent, he is…OK? We tell the sisters, and please do listen to this point, walahi, if a women cries in front of any man, in particular if he is your husband who one time hasn’t slept with you, if you cry in front of him and show your obedience to him, what will happen?…What normally happens?…His heart will melt down. But if the husband sees that his wife is what? Talking back to him, chatting back, shouting, he will become more what? Arrogant, because he doesn’t accept this behaviour. And in the West, unfortunately, because women they were brought up to be independent so they don’t accept this kind, they call it inferiority to the husband.”

“So, what we are saying is that, sisters please don’t show your husband that you are competing with him. I know that many women in the West and unfortunately in many Muslim countries, because now they are following the same style and they don’t want to show that women are inferior to husbands, to their husbands or to men, and they don;t want to show that they are not equal. In fact, this equality between the two genders is a very evil thing. And we have to explain this because I know in the West they might see this ‘What? What are you talking about?’…So, if the wife is always chatting back and when the husband becomes angry and she becomes angry and he says ‘You did not cook!’ and she said ‘Yeah but you did not buy this!’ he will say ‘No, no, no, I bought it but you did not prepare it.’ So, the point is, when he speaks in a very angry way, what do you need to do sister? Just calm down, calm down. Be patient. Even if he becomes so angry and you might [be] afraid that he becomes so violent, and this is a very common problem, walahi, keep quiet and maybe use your tears. You will win him. You will win his heart. You will win your marriage. Be careful sisters, I know in the West she can immediately call the police, and when she calls the police, that is the end of her marriage because the husband will not tolerate this. You might win the case now and you might say ‘Well, I felt that my safety is in danger.’ OK you will call the police, the police will come. The husband will never forget this, because what? Sisters, please, don’t use another man against your husband. If the husband feels that you went, or you are seeking protection with another man against him, that is the end of his feelings towards you…This is another way of threatening, or stabbing, his manhood in fact. So sisters, don’t use it.”

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